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Old 28-05-2003, 01:21 PM
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How to shower like a man/woman

---How to shower like a woman:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
acccording to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror; make mental note to do
more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
10. Complain because your husband has been eating your ginger nut and
jaffa cake body wash. 11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs and bikini line.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to shower like a man:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
shake willy at her making the woo-woo sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
willy and scratch your ***.

4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of shower.
16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

17. Admire willy size in mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
pull off towel, shake willy at her, and make the woo-woo sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
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