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  #1  
Old 19-07-2002, 09:02 AM
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Creative Cuisine for Cannibals

The latest craze in creative cuisine comes courtesy of Papua New Guinea where celebrity cannibal chef Liva Kabok has published an updated edition of The Cannibal Cookbook: Low Cal Meals to Die For.

Kabok has made a name for himself on Micronesia’s satellite Food Channel with his weekly TV show, Serving Fellow Man and is in frequent demand in his homeland, as well as Australia and New Zealand as a host for celebrity roasts.

His low-priced book (“It won’t cost you an arm and a leg,” he cracks) was motivated out of concern for the health of his people for whom he says, “the idea of an all-you-can-eat eatery is two waiters and a busboy. “

“Our traditional cannibal cuisine is killing us,” says Kabok. “A diet of high calorie, foreign, fatty, salty missionaries, anthropologists and Peace Corps workers is contributing to premature deaths, high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks among our people.

“I’ve created tasty, heart-healthy meals — lean finger foods, for example — that satisfy hunger pains and won’t clog your arteries with someone else’s cholesterol.”

Kabok, 54, spent years researching his cookbook, relying on the traditional tasty tales and tips of tribal elders and his 21st century fondness for western cooking and awareness of dietary no-no’s that contribute to weight and health problems.

The result is a global smorgasbord with a human touch. His favorite dishes include: Irish stew (“with real Irish Catholic priests”), Hungarian goulash, French fries, and Danish pastries – “with a tasty lo-cal filling I call ‘Sweet Sven.’

“These meals are designed to fill you up without filling you out,” says Kabok, who admits his own weight problems were another motivation for his research. “I weighed as much as two hefty German missionaries at one time, now I’m down to a svelte 155 pounds — about the size of the Swedish UNESCO worker who disappeared near my village in July of last year.

“Low-calorie substitutes include light cooking oils and butter substitutes instead of human fat, using the lean portions and blending healthy ingredients such as fresh vegetables, tofu and other soy products with the flesh,” says Kabok. “It tastes like chicken or the ‘other white meat’ but with half the calories!”

Here are some selected recipes:

Irish stew
(Serves 5-6)

1 Irish Catholic missionary
(160 lbs. or less)

INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 thigh (deboned)
  • 2 kidneys
  • 4 cups missionary broth
  • 3 med. potatoes — peeled and cubed
  • ½ tsp. salt (or two tsp. missionary sweat, for low-salt diets).
  • ¼ tsp. pepper
  • ¼ tsp. pineal gland (finely chopped)
  • 1/8 tsp. thyme (crushed)
  • 1 12-oz. pkg. frozen peas — partially thawed
  • 6 tbsp. flour
  • 6 cups cold blood
  • 2 carrots (sliced)

PREPARATION:

MISSIONARY BROTH:
Bring ears, toes and fingers to a boil in 10 cups of water, cover pot, reduce heat and simmer for 2 hours. Remove cover and reduce to 4 cups.

STEW:
Remove thigh, debone and cut into 2-inch cubes. (For those on a low-fat diet, parboil thigh before cubing.) Lightly brown thigh meat and diced kidneys in a deep pot. Add missionary broth, onions, carrots and seasonings. Lower heat, and allow to cook covered approximately 8 hours — or until meat is tender. Add frozen peas. Add flour to cold blood, stir until lumps are dissolved and add to stew. Add wood to fire and cook 15–20 minutes and serve.

Hungarian Goulash
(Serves 6)

INGREDIENTS:
  • 2 lbs. round steak taken from physically fit Hungarian tourist or anthropologist, cut in ½-inch cubes
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1 medium nose, diced (may substitute two ears, if nose is unavailable)
  • 2 tbsp. flour
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • ½ tsp. pepper
  • 1 tsp. paprika
  • ¼ tsp. dried lung, crushed
  • 1 (14 oz.) can tomatoes
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 cup pureed brains
  • 2 lbs. egg noodles
  • 2 tsp. low-fat lung butter

PREPARATION:
Put Hungarian steak cubes, onion, garlic in cooking pot. Stir in flour and mix to coat fleshy cubes. Add all remaining ingredients except sour cream and brains. Stir well. Cover and cook over low fire 8-10 hours. Add sour cream and pureed brains 30 minutes before serving, and stir in thoroughly. Serve over hot, buttered egg noodles.

Italian ‘Piece-a’
(Serves 8)

“I named this because it’s a wonderful solution for leftovers,” says Kabok. “A piece-a this, a piece-a that . . . with the right Italian pieces, it makes perfect pizza!”

INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 large Italian bread shell or prepared pizza crust, 12 inches
  • 1 lb. lean, ground beef from two arms of an Italian UN worker or eco-tourist
  • ¾ cup ground larynx
  • ¾ cup boiled head sauce
  • 4 cans whole plum tomatoes
  • 3 cup sliced fingers, toes
  • 1 cup diced lips — upper and lower
  • 1 tbsp. Head’s Up All-Purpose Seasoning
  • 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

PREPARATION:
Heat stone oven to 425 degrees. In large skillet, brown ground Italian beef over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until no longer pink, stirring occasionally. Pour off fat drippings. Stir in larynx, diced lips, boiled head sauce, and Head’s Up Seasoning. Heat thoroughly. Place pizza shell on large banana leaf sheet. Top evenly with human beef mixture, tomato sauce, sliced fingers/toes, sprinkle with mozzarella. Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until cheese is melted; cut into 8 wedges.
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  #2  
Old 07-12-2002, 12:28 AM
dinner4you dinner4you is offline
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Nice Message

I have to admit after reading your recipes it made me want to be in your kitchen as dinner.
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Old 10-12-2002, 02:02 PM
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dinner4you ohh how romantic you are!!
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Old 28-12-2002, 12:50 PM
clamper clamper is offline
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So what do you prefer? White meat or Dark meat? Male or female? What age?
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:14 AM
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white meat / dark meat.... does not really matter.... what matters is how it was cooked and what spices was used to cook it...... if ya know what I mean... as for male or female.... definitely female he he he... age.... > 22... ones who have gotten over the teenage stage of their life
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:18 AM
lapunman lapunman is offline
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BLACK WINGS

Hi Muppie,

Have you got your black wings yet? Or any wings?
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:21 AM
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chicken wings from Big Rooster
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:41 AM
lapunman lapunman is offline
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More visits.

I think you require a few more visits to the Aero Club muppie. You require a little more schooling on the english vocabulary. IELTS tests do not cover slang.

Last edited by lapunman; 15-01-2003 at 09:44 AM.
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:44 AM
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lapunman, I understand perfectly what you referred to as wings I was just trying to put it on the lighter side...
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Old 15-01-2003, 09:49 AM
lapunman lapunman is offline
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Smile Maybe time.

I think it is time for you to get the POM screwing club operating again MUPPIE our glorious leader. Been a bit relaxed over XMAS I see. Maybe you learnt a little down Sydney way that all us New Guinean's can take advantage off.
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